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Old 18-02-05, 18:02   #161
Queeg
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You have issues mate... big ones ;)
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Nah! I'd rather make reactionary sarcastic comments to whatever crazy ideas other people have.
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Old 19-02-05, 00:24   #162
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haha your mum has a penis
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Old 01-04-05, 09:28   #163
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(22:49:48) (@NSM|Ap0kalipSe) i can give duffs a run for his money tbfh
(22:50:08) —› nick: (NSM|Ap0kalipSe) is now known as (Dr_Ap0k)

^^ Look what I found ;D
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Old 01-04-05, 11:11   #164
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pfft Amature
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Old 21-05-05, 20:14   #165
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Oh Doctor Duffs

Its been so long since I saw you help the needy or make a housecall to a busty housewife..I wonder, can you help out this needy hobbit from the shire?

You see - there is this man - and I hate him, and I think he is in love with me - I'm always mean to him in the hope he will go away for good - but this never works, he just keeps on coming back, and everyday on msn I make a point of telling him I hate him. Now the thing is, its getting bad - our feuding has become frequent in irc and I try to tell people about our love hate relationship (he loves me and I hate him) but cos they all dumb males in irc they accuse me of hiding my true feelings and loving this damn awful man! How can I prove it to them and to him - and get him to stop obsessing over my heaving busom?

Please help....things are becoming desperate!!!!
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Old 21-05-05, 20:54   #166
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solitaire
Oh Doctor Duffs

Its been so long since I saw you help the needy or make a housecall to a busty housewife..I wonder, can you help out this needy hobbit from the shire?

You see - there is this man - and I hate him, and I think he is in love with me - I'm always mean to him in the hope he will go away for good - but this never works, he just keeps on coming back, and everyday on msn I make a point of telling him I hate him. Now the thing is, its getting bad - our feuding has become frequent in irc and I try to tell people about our love hate relationship (he loves me and I hate him) but cos they all dumb males in irc they accuse me of hiding my true feelings and loving this damn awful man! How can I prove it to them and to him - and get him to stop obsessing over my heaving busom?

Please help....things are becoming desperate!!!!

Now come on Soli, both you and I know that your love for ijakings is the real thing. You are in denile of your true feelings.

Follow your heart and ignore what your head is telling you.... and if that does not work .... follow your head and ignore what your heart is telling you !!!

OR
















































I'LL COME ROUND AND RUB YOUR CHEST IF YOU LIKE

NEXT!!!
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Old 21-05-05, 20:58   #167
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you can rub my chest - BUT THE DOCTOR IS WRONG! I dont even have ijakings msn - the pest is tha fabe - how can the doctor be wrong - all my faith and beliefs...down the drain - I dont know what to do now....lost...alone....confused
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Old 21-05-05, 21:48   #168
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solitaire
you can rub my chest - BUT THE DOCTOR IS WRONG! I dont even have ijakings msn - the pest is tha fabe - how can the doctor be wrong - all my faith and beliefs...down the drain - I dont know what to do now....lost...alone....confused

No there is no confusion ... you love for ijakings is strong.... but there is a problem.
YOU ARE CLINICALLY INSANE WOMAN !!!!!
ijakings is a looney - he wants locking up - he is a danger to society...
Maybe the Fabe was trying to point this out to you ... or maybe he also just wants to juggle your jubbly-wubblies :p
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Old 26-05-05, 08:28   #169
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Soli's boobs? hum.... lol, how about telling him you rather sleep with a Yak? lmao! it would put me off!
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Old 11-12-05, 16:49   #170
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Grüezi Doktor Duffs

I have had a sudden bout of wanting to be Schweizerisch.

I am now noticing that I admire the craftmanship in Cuckoo Clocks, that I prefer Raclette or Fondue for dinner instead of Bangers and Mash, and normally I eat Toblerone or Swiss rolls for desert.

I also have to either Yodel or play my Alphorn regulary.

Are these problems reversible?

Merci Gal für dine antwort
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(22:21:11) (+Arab) [21:19] <HarLi> all in this funny cheese dialect <--- thought that said "chinese"

Last edited by HarLi : 11-12-05 at 16:53.
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Old 11-12-05, 17:58   #171
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Dear Doctor,

Today, I noticed a strange growth in the middle of my face, between my eyes and mouth. Could you please advise me how I may rid myself of the proverbial "nose"?

Yours sincerely,

Mr C Whipper

The Back Lane
Gouranga Town
Stoke-by-Chav
ST1 7LQ
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Old 16-12-05, 10:13   #172
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The Back Lane
Gouranga Town
Stoke-by-Chav
ST1 7LQ
:O Don't moonlight at my address sonny jim!
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Old 18-12-05, 01:16   #173
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Dear dr. duffs.
Im having these dreams about getting in a bath with a lady who is covered in baked beans.
Please help me !

(or make a bigger bath please, as theres not mushroom in this 1 )
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Old 18-12-05, 01:33   #174
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get your eyes tested that lady is Alkie ...................
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Old 18-12-05, 01:56   #175
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Dammit its that red dress again
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Old 20-01-06, 08:01   #176
Hattori hanzo
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simply the funniest thread i have ever read here n1 duff
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Old 21-02-06, 15:02   #177
Hattori hanzo
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dear dr duff where the hole have u been?
i do beleive that u have an affaire with cord ,
leave this goat alone and get back on thread asap!!!

help heeelppp HEEELLLPPPPP!!!!!
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Old 21-02-06, 16:50   #178
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hattori hanzo
dear dr duff where the hole have u been?
i do beleive that u have an affaire with cord ,
leave this goat alone and get back on thread asap!!!

help heeelppp HEEELLLPPPPP!!!!!
I have been on a journey ....
A spiritual journey ....
I have travelled far and wide ....
I have travelled both up and down ....
I have found my inner-self ....








































































AND MY INSIDE IS JUST AS DAM SEXY AS THE OUTSIDE !!!!
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Old 22-02-06, 00:51   #179
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Dear Dr Duffs

Recently i caught a very well known Dr from around these parts hijacking a comical email and posting it on an internet forum pretending it was spewed out from his own comic mind. Do you think this is wrong and what shall i do, you may know him very well but dont go to easy.

Yours forever and ever
Love Shimmy

xxxxx

p.s. Dinner and Champers still on for tommorow at 9 yeah?
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Old 22-02-06, 07:18   #180
Hattori hanzo
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he s back !!!!!
praise the wise and dance naked!!!
dr duff is back among us ...human
thanks i can feel the relief already
truly yours H.H
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Old 22-02-06, 07:56   #181
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShiMMy
Dear Dr Duffs

Recently i caught a very well known Dr from around these parts hijacking a comical email and posting it on an internet forum pretending it was spewed out from his own comic mind. Do you think this is wrong and what shall i do, you may know him very well but dont go to easy.
I suggest you strip him naked, tie him over the dining room table and spank his buttocks red-raw with sticks of celery. Then get some glue (the PVA glue used in school when you were a kid is best) rub this all over this 'so called' Dr and then get a large bag of feathers. These should be spread evenly all over his sticky body, ensuring that every bit of his skin is covered.
In the next faze of the punishment, chase this scoundrel out of your house shouting "OMFG ... IT'S THE PHANTOM CHICKEN-MAN OF (insert your town here)".
You will then become famous in your area and all the fit chicks will love you.
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Old 22-02-06, 10:02   #182
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Dear Dr Duffs,

I have a problem - I beleive I may have caused offence to a user of a tinternet forum not so far from here. I posted up some comments about gravy and burgers which were misconstrued as childish, rather than as tasty...

the thread is now locked & I cannot post up any apologies for the offence I feel I have caused...

help me Dr Duffs you are my only hope.
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Old 22-02-06, 10:57   #183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lullabye Skipp
Dear Dr Duffs,

I have a problem - I beleive I may have caused offence to a user of a tinternet forum not so far from here. I posted up some comments about gravy and burgers which were misconstrued as childish, rather than as tasty...

the thread is now locked & I cannot post up any apologies for the offence I feel I have caused...

help me Dr Duffs you are my only hope.
SOLI ... DW ... Lullabye Skipp says sorry !!!
there you go.

.... and I am not public appology service, this was a one off, special occasion, never to be repeated offer

Take my advice ... women are always right, even when they are wrong. If you question them it tends to end in either violence, silence, or major league lack of nookie !!! .... If it does turn out to be violent, please remember that a female can push another human through their front bottom, so their pain threshold is much much higher than yours. More often than not it will be you in tears appologising for being so stupid
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Old 22-02-06, 11:02   #184
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I get your Drift, thanks so much Dr.
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“Work as if you lived in the early days of a better nation.”—Alasdair Gray.

“If these are the early days of a better nation, there must be hope, and a hope of peace is as good as any, and far better than a hollow hoarding greed or the dry lies of an aweless god.”—Graydon Saunders
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Old 22-02-06, 13:02   #185
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I had a c-section.

All water under the bridge, big misunderstandings, thats where animal rights lead to.

/me tucks into a cheeseburger.
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Old 14-02-07, 18:07   #186
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Dear dr. duffs
My budgie is on 4 lemsips a day and is sneezing lots.
Should i be concerned ?.
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Old 14-02-07, 19:52   #187
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stucktoo_uk View Post
Dear dr. duffs
My budgie is on 4 lemsips a day and is sneezing lots.
Should i be concerned ?.
Which Lemsip is he on ?

Normal Lemsip
(Lemon Flavour and by far the most tasty)

Normal Blackcurrat Lemsip
(which is wrong IMO - Lemsips SHOULD be Lemon by the nature of their fookin name)

Lemsip Menthol
(nasty after-taste)

Lemsip Max-Strength
(Not a bad bouquet, a ripe and fruity after taste)

Lemsip also do a inhailer for your nose ... and TBH it's pretty effective.

Hope your Budgie feels better soon.
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Old 13-04-07, 23:32   #188
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Dear Dr. Duffs,

I would like to ask u something. Next Weekend 21/4/'07 i have a 2 on 2 clanwar but i don't have tactics. These players are mid-hig and i'm low-mid. Do u have some tactics for me? ( De_dust2)

Thanks alot already, i hope to get a reply soon.

Search Dog
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Old 17-04-07, 10:10   #189
Duffs
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Dear Dr. Duffs,

I would like to ask u something. Next Weekend 21/4/'07 i have a 2 on 2 clanwar but i don't have tactics. These players are mid-hig and i'm low-mid. Do u have some tactics for me? ( De_dust2)

Thanks alot already, i hope to get a reply soon.

Search Dog
You have obviously never seen me playing CS if you are asking me about tactics.
My advice would be to run headlong screaming like a girl towards your enemy. Hopefully this would scare them into thinking you are mental and should be locked up, causing them to drop their guns and run away avoiding all confrontation.
You would then win by default.
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Old 17-04-07, 12:48   #190
Ute
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I do that, it works great
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Old 17-04-07, 15:24   #191
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Quote:
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I do that, it works great
it works for me too! , and I am a legend in cs circles - ask anyone....
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“Work as if you lived in the early days of a better nation.”—Alasdair Gray.

“If these are the early days of a better nation, there must be hope, and a hope of peace is as good as any, and far better than a hollow hoarding greed or the dry lies of an aweless god.”—Graydon Saunders
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Old 17-04-07, 15:38   #192
Ute
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Can't really imagine you screaming like a girl...you big pansy...grower
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Old 17-04-07, 15:58   #193
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Oh - I scream, I can assure you!
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“Work as if you lived in the early days of a better nation.”—Alasdair Gray.

“If these are the early days of a better nation, there must be hope, and a hope of peace is as good as any, and far better than a hollow hoarding greed or the dry lies of an aweless god.”—Graydon Saunders
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Old 17-04-07, 17:02   #194
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lol If i scream.....well I'll put that down to someones whos heard me on mic
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Old 17-04-07, 17:58   #195
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lol If i scream.....well I'll put that down to someones whos heard me on mic
Do you scream like a man or a girl?
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Old 17-04-07, 18:40   #196
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Girl.....
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Old 17-04-07, 18:53   #197
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^^ :d
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Old 18-04-07, 12:40   #198
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Emergency

Dear Dr. Duffs

I need your pro help, please.

I'm offered with a new job, but it contains moving to Taipei for 3-6 months. I tend to accept, but there is one major con here: I'd loose all my young mistresses here, if I'm not taking care about them..
What should I do?
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Hey, I'm a girl and i play Wow. Can't find a decent guy to play Wow with. there was one guy, but it didnt work out, he was allience and I am horde.

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well, thats a given. i mean, what self-respectin' alliance guy would go out with a horde character.... LOL jk i'm sorry it didn't work out, i hope you find a decent guy.
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Old 18-04-07, 12:45   #199
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Dear Dr. Duffs

I need your pro help, please.

I'm offered with a new job, but it contains moving to Taipei for 3-6 months. I tend to accept, but there is one major con here: I'd loose all my young mistresses here, if I'm not taking care about them..
What should I do?

if they are 18-22 I'll look after them
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Old 18-04-07, 13:07   #200
Ute
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pro help is right there
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