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Old 28-09-04, 10:52   #121
Monkey Boy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AceClown[UK2]*
Jesus, this is worse than the A&E at my local hospital.

I've now been waiting 13 days to speak to a Dr.
thats the NHS for you
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Old 28-09-04, 12:23   #122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AceClown[UK2]*
Dear Dr. Duffs

I just don't know what to, my borderline alchololic chav brother is dating this girl whos so Emo* it hurts to even talk to her!!

Who do I warn about who?

*Emo = short for "emotional." Emo is a broad title that covers a lot of different styles of emotionally-charged punk rock. All of them crap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AceClown[UK2]*
Jesus, this is worse than the A&E at my local hospital.

I've now been waiting 13 days to speak to a Dr.

Sorry,
I was busy with these 3 busty blonde (LADY) porn stars.
I understand about Dr & Patient confidentiality ... but i neva knew it was physically possible insert such a thing, neva mind get it stuck and to have all 3 connected to it !!!

Anyways ... Jeez i thought this thread had died a long time ago.

Aceclown... 1st of all diss-associate yourself with your Bro if he is having chav tendencies.... better still give him a bottle of white lightning, a copy of Max Power and the latest Argos cataloge and go dump him somewhere very very far away.

As for the Emo (as you put it) get her to look at this page
http://cyborg2.com/admins.php?action...n&adminid=4969
and she will then come to her senses and realise that life aint so bad and there are people far worse off.


NEXT !!!
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Old 28-09-04, 21:31   #123
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Hahaha!
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Old 29-09-04, 11:06   #124
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dr duffs avatar looks like 2 eggs stuck on a yellow carrot that is rested on a green apple, thats how I see it anyway. Maybe he will become a nutritrionist?
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Old 29-09-04, 11:11   #125
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Its Salad Fingers you heathen!
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Old 29-09-04, 17:18   #126
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that's salad fingers... of course THAT isn't the character salad fingers.
isn't it the kid who answers the door in the first one?


www.fat-pie.com for more!
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Old 29-09-04, 17:56   #127
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Salad fingers rulez
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Old 29-09-04, 19:06   #128
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heathen? the was the name of one of oasis albums?
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Old 29-09-04, 19:29   #129
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"heathen chemistry", monkey
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this post made my day
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Old 29-09-04, 19:39   #130
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Thats what I meant, whats a heathen?
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Old 29-09-04, 19:46   #131
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkey Boy
Thats what I meant, whats a heathen?
heathen

\Hea"then\, a.

1. Gentile; pagan; as, a heathen author. ``The heathen philosopher.'' ``All in gold, like heathen gods.'' --Shak.

2. Barbarous; unenlightened; heathenish.

3. Irreligious; scoffing.

4. a person who does not acknowledge your God

Source: [size=1]Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.[/SIZE]
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Old 29-09-04, 20:09   #132
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I dont acknowledge God?
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Old 29-09-04, 21:06   #133
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STOP HIJACKIN MY FOOOOKIN THREAD U SLAGORZ !!!!

It's a Dr's surgery ... not a bloody mothers meeting... STFU
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Old 29-09-04, 22:58   #134
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Dear Dr Duffs

I have a very serious problem, every since i met the UK2 people in West Wales, i feel i have been mentality scared.

I was tricked by a said Apok's girlfriend into skinny dipping, and i also saw Woogie's body, which i can tell you was not the most pleasant of sites.

I also met some bloke called Mattmoo, he was a stinky bugger, he could fart for england (although i believe he is welsh as he did take a liking to the sheep)

I also met a bloke called "Duffs", he was a very strange chap, insisted on taking video clips of me while i was naked, now i dont think he commited any sexual acts with me, although i cant be sure.

Please can you advise as to what i should do?

Thanks

Andy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormie
General piece of advice ... stay away from that server in future. It's obviously a "chav server" .... probably hosted by Argos and sponsered by White Lightning.
http://www.classifiedgaming.co.uk/

Need Your Support For Q, pls perform and idle

#classified.cs on Quakenet
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Old 30-09-04, 07:55   #135
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkey Boy
I dont acknowledge God?
Monkey Boy: Its not uncommon you know for words to have several meanings when applied to different situations, hence the reason I made the word "unenlightened" bold and underscored.
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Old 30-09-04, 08:31   #136
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spongebob Hempants
Dear Dr Duffs

I have a very serious problem, every since i met the UK2 people in West Wales, i feel i have been mentality scared.

I was tricked by a said Apok's girlfriend into skinny dipping, and i also saw Woogie's body, which i can tell you was not the most pleasant of sites.

I also met some bloke called Mattmoo, he was a stinky bugger, he could fart for england (although i believe he is welsh as he did take a liking to the sheep)

I also met a bloke called "Duffs", he was a very strange chap, insisted on taking video clips of me while i was naked, now i dont think he commited any sexual acts with me, although i cant be sure.

Please can you advise as to what i should do?

Thanks

Andy
WHAT GOES ON TOUR ... STAYS ON TOUR .... right sweet cheeks !!!

All i can say is Wales is a strange country that makes you do strange things... or maybe it was the huge amounts of Alcholol ... who knows.

But your right about 1 thing, Chemical Ali has nothin on what comes out of Moo's backside.
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Old 30-09-04, 11:20   #137
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AceClown[UK2]*
Monkey Boy: Its not uncommon you know for words to have several meanings when applied to different situations, hence the reason I made the word "unenlightened" bold and underscored.
Now I understand

Dr Duffs, no offense intended...I wouldn't want to crowd your doctors surgery
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Old 12-11-04, 23:47   #138
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Dr Duffs,
Untill I stumbled accross your clinic I suffered from no serious conditions. However, after reading the advise you gave to one desperate individual,

[quote='Duffs[UK2]*']Thinking that you will find your ideal woman on "www.ilovehairywomen.com"[quote]

I have become fixated with the hairy ladies, especially of eastern european origin. Several times the day after cashing my giro I have woken up in a dirty bedsit just outside Berlin, clasping a large Frankfurter.
This is causing an even greater problem, by the time I return home I find that I have been knifed many times at the CT spawn point. This is giving me kill rates of 0:100, wheras when I am playing I usualy acheive 1:100, this is making me look like a n00b.
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Old 12-11-04, 23:57   #139
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[quote==Lo=]Dr Duffs,
Untill I stumbled accross your clinic I suffered from no serious conditions. However, after reading the advise you gave to one desperate individual,

[quote='Duffs[UK2]*']Thinking that you will find your ideal woman on "www.ilovehairywomen.com"
Quote:

I have become fixated with the hairy ladies, especially of eastern european origin. Several times the day after cashing my giro I have woken up in a dirty bedsit just outside Berlin, clasping a large Frankfurter.
This is causing an even greater problem, by the time I return home I find that I have been knifed many times at the CT spawn point. This is giving me kill rates of 0:100, wheras when I am playing I usualy acheive 1:100, this is making me look like a n00b.
Glad to see you have found my Clinic...
as for your problem, this is a simple one. it will not only improve your frag rate but will also endulge your fetish with hairy ladies.
All you have to do is always join CT and chase after the Terrors with the Beard. Once you have killed all those, just imagine all the other Terrors, underneith the scarf thing round their face is more HAIR.

simple equasion: Chase and kill hairy people = more frags and a healthy sex life

.... NEXT
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Old 16-11-04, 19:35   #140
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dr duffs give me the good stuffs

y do awp suck. i dont like em and my m8 dave he dont like em. who does.. do u? OMG u love the awp dont u..

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Old 07-01-05, 09:31   #141
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Dear Dr Duffs

I have recently had the urge to post this joke everywere please help!



One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Did it again!

Last edited by HarLi : 07-01-05 at 13:38.
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Old 07-01-05, 13:18   #142
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Dear Doctor Duffs,

Well, I have this strange habit of stroking peoples bottoms on my monitor when they are AFK. I don't really think it's a problem, until I start to lick the monitor, and my Mummy caught me doing it the other day :S

Any suggestions? I've tried the J-Lo fat ass skins for CT's, and it made it even worse
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Old 07-01-05, 20:31   #143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HarLi
Dear Dr Duffs

I have recently had the urge to post this joke everywere please help!



One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Did it again!
the only think i can suggest is plenty of rest. Try reading from here
http://rinkworks.com/jokes/.

Take this time to relax and think about what you have done.
Maybe next-time you will appreciate the effort that goes into creating a joke rather than needlesly posting the same thing over and over again.

be original - write your own material
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Old 07-01-05, 20:54   #144
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricochet
Dear Doctor Duffs,

Well, I have this strange habit of stroking peoples bottoms on my monitor when they are AFK. I don't really think it's a problem, until I start to lick the monitor, and my Mummy caught me doing it the other day :S

Any suggestions? I've tried the J-Lo fat ass skins for CT's, and it made it even worse
We all know you have problems m8.
We all know how sad and alone you feel sometimes... you cry on MSN often enough.
To be honest the internet is not the best place for you - a secure unit is. You have social issues as the links below show

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/495/ <<<<< Rico as a teen
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/488/ <<<<< Rico as he is now

I feel you are a danger to society... and more so a danger to my buttocks
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Old 07-01-05, 20:58   #145
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ROFL "mom?"
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New source clan #m4d.source on quakenet

We have an 18 man public server and our member base is mainly uk2 orientated.

Please come along to 82.136.16.63:27095 and join the fun.

For any enquiries inluding application to join catch me in irc, the server or pm me on here :D
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Old 08-01-05, 16:54   #146
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duffs[UK2]*

be original - write your own material
this is my own.

Q. why don't ugly people read the Mirror?
A. there'd be breaking news everyday.

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Old 08-01-05, 17:06   #147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dante
this is my own.

Q. why don't ugly people read the Mirror?
A. there'd be breaking news everyday.


Sorry i should have said .... Be original, write your own FUNNY material
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Old 08-01-05, 17:52   #148
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Thankyou Dr Duffs, seeing myself on tape again, it sent shivers down my spine, extending to the tip of my....

thanks!!!
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Old 08-01-05, 18:29   #149
GOD called in s!ck
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Dr. Duffs, i have this problem when playing cs:

if people on my team die in a really stupid noobish way i tend to say things such as: ROFL
U SUCK
NOOB!!!
LOL!!
****TARD!!!

how do i stop this? i know its not nice but its what they deserve
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Old 08-01-05, 18:30   #150
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GOD called in s!ck
Dr. Duffs, i have this problem when playing cs:

if people on my team die in a really stupid noobish way i tend to say things such as: ROFL
U SUCK
NOOB!!!
LOL!!
****TARD!!!

how do i stop this? i know its not nice but its what they deserve

Simple my friend.
Stop playing on aY server 225 with Moobot and Pimp
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Old 08-01-05, 19:06   #151
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Dr Duffs, I need help.

In CS I installed a ha... a steam update. And I keep spinning around, its making me feel sick.

Also have a really bad case of the shakes and my cursor in the screen keeps wobbling.

Later I got banned by some nubb hax0r admin :<

Pls unban me
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Old 08-01-05, 19:25   #152
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MooBOT
Dr Duffs, I need help.

In CS I installed a ha... a steam update. And I keep spinning around, its making me feel sick.

Also have a really bad case of the shakes and my cursor in the screen keeps wobbling.

Later I got banned by some nubb hax0r admin :<

Pls unban me

If it was only the above then i would unban you right now.
unfortunatly after scanning your PC I discovered over 10,000 pornographic pictures of you in sorded, sick, perverted positions doing things to goats.
Now as we all know thats just not right, especially since one of the pictures was of Stormies goatfriend naaaaaancy. You know how much he loves that goat and you went behind his back and made her cheat on him. You just dont do that to a friend. you remain banned forever .... GOAT SUCKER !!!!
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Old 08-01-05, 21:10   #153
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricochet
Dear Doctor Duffs,

Well, I have this strange habit of stroking peoples bottoms on my monitor when they are AFK. I don't really think it's a problem, until I start to lick the monitor, and my Mummy caught me doing it the other day :S

Any suggestions? I've tried the J-Lo fat ass skins for CT's, and it made it even worse

Quote:
Originally Posted by Duffs[UK2]*
We all know you have problems m8.
We all know how sad and alone you feel sometimes... you cry on MSN often enough.
To be honest the internet is not the best place for you - a secure unit is. You have social issues as the links below show

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/495/ <<<<< Rico as a teen
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/488/ <<<<< Rico as he is now

I feel you are a danger to society... and more so a danger to my buttocks
I have found yet another video of rico as a baby.

Here are all 3... enjoy

http://gprime.net/video.php/thatsmyboy <<<<<<< Rico as a baby
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/495/ <<<<< Rico as a teen
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/488/ <<<<< Rico as he is now
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Old 09-01-05, 00:22   #154
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DR Duffs i have a problem i am really paranoid about hackers, i am so worried i worry about it in the real world too. Like i the other day this guy started a fight with me and i was too worried to hit him in case he was rate hacking and my punches didn't register. It gets worst last night i felt really horny but couldn't bring myself to **** because i was so worried my mum had a wallhacker.
Would should i do Dr Duffs i haven't masturbated during the last 30 seconds ahhhhhhh.
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Old 09-01-05, 10:12   #155
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnocH
DR Duffs i have a problem i am really paranoid about hackers, i am so worried i worry about it in the real world too. Like i the other day this guy started a fight with me and i was too worried to hit him in case he was rate hacking and my punches didn't register. It gets worst last night i felt really horny but couldn't bring myself to **** because i was so worried my mum had a wallhacker.
Would should i do Dr Duffs i haven't masturbated during the last 30 seconds ahhhhhhh.
What's this real world you talk about ?
You obviously do not play CS and sit infront of your PC enough. Do this for hours at a time and the real world will meen nothing. Soon your mum will forget all about you as you will be living in your bedroom. There you will have free access to as much Goat Pron as you can handle, you could order food and even when ready get an online girl/boyfriend... then even an online bride.

Who needs the real world .... as for your mum catchin you pulling your pud, are you telling me she has never flicked herself off when watching Tricia or Richard & Judy .. I THINK NOT !!!
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Old 09-01-05, 10:13   #156
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duffs[UK2]*
Sorry i should have said .... Be original, write your own FUNNY material
you bugger i thought it was funny
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Old 09-01-05, 18:04   #157
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pwned by duffs.......................again and again and again
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Old 18-02-05, 15:25   #158
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Dear Dr.Duffs

I left the game of cs a few months ago and proceeded to become sucessful in the game of cz. Suddenly out of the blue I started playing cs again, I couldn't help it uk2 was drawing me in - I thought I cut the uk2 umbilical cord but its still there WHY IS IT THERE DUFFS????
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Old 18-02-05, 17:23   #159
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solitaire
Dear Dr.Duffs

I left the game of cs a few months ago and proceeded to become sucessful in the game of cz. Suddenly out of the blue I started playing cs again, I couldn't help it uk2 was drawing me in - I thought I cut the uk2 umbilical cord but its still there WHY IS IT THERE DUFFS????
This is a simple one
THERE IS NO ESCAPE ... EVER!!!
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Old 18-02-05, 17:27   #160
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Location: Chorley, Lancashire
Posts: 2,598
POST 1337
I AM NOW OFFICIALLY 1337 ...
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA
MMMUUUWWWHHAAHHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAA


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