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Old 02-06-04, 19:41   #81
ShiMMy
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Quote:

At least u made more sense than S4M

so you dindt get the joke
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Old 02-06-04, 19:50   #82
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Maybe you should have wrapped it in [aimed@s4m] tags
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Old 03-06-04, 01:24   #83
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/me is Taking alot of h34t atm
/me is thinking of Running away with my fellow Umpa Lumpa's to a land Fareaway
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Old 03-06-04, 07:42   #84
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Quote:
Originally posted by ShiMMy
Dear Dr Duffs

Im kinda new to the forums and uk2 and i try to be active in the community but my efforts are being seriosly hindered by my lack of correct spelling and my ability to sometimes make no sense at all. Im 18 and you would expect that i learnt spelling in lower school, and being on computers most of day you would of thought i knew how to type but this is not the case.

plz help!!!
Sorry shimmy,
I read it again and now understand. It was early, I was tired.
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Old 03-06-04, 07:44   #85
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I just cant believe im onto the 4th page of this thread...

But i suppose there are a lot of people out there that need my help0r
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Old 03-06-04, 14:47   #86
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One for doctor Duffs!

Ok Duffster, here's my problem!

Was playing on UK2 last night until dinner. Went to get food. Came back and joined X51's WC3 server. Had a mega ping!!! Was laggin between 800 and 1000 all the time. Thought it may have been their dodgy server so returned to UK2 to find the same problem.

Please help me doctor!!
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Old 03-06-04, 15:10   #87
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Look here DM....

I may know a lot about a lot but you are clearly greater than I in almost every way. I'm afraid if you are stuck, even with your great knowledge then I am unable to help you.

Sorry O' Great one!

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Old 03-06-04, 17:12   #88
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hallelujah






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Old 03-06-04, 17:38   #89
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reply to one for the Dr thread ....

Look here DM....

I may know a lot about a lot but you are clearly greater than I in almost every way. I'm afraid if you are stuck, even with your great knowledge then I am unable to help you.

Sorry O' Great one!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

dont believe that tripe. Bloody forum moderators alterin the Dr records.
Thats a criminal offence ... I should have u spanked for that.
Ruining my good reputation.

BAH maybe I will take my services elsewhere ....
(the Dr looks towards babblers) mmmmmmmm


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Old 03-06-04, 18:16   #90
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Last edited by DangerMouse on 03-Jun-04 at 19:28





cheeky bastard
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Old 04-06-04, 06:37   #91
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Re: reply to one for the Dr thread ....

Quote:
Originally posted by Dr Duffs[UK2]*
I should have u spanked for that.
Promises promises!!
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I've been pwned by CTJackall, EssJay, MattMoo, odog, BigT, G-CIS, DangerMouse and other great players
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Old 07-06-04, 14:11   #92
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Can we have this moved to the comady section, it's very funny, and very little to do with CS
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Old 07-06-04, 14:15   #93
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Quote:
Originally posted by illusion
Can we have this moved to the comady section, it's very funny, and very little to do with CS
Good point. TBH I dont know why I did post it in the CS forum.

PLUS

Its all gone quiet on the advice front, has nobody any more problems i can help them with.
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Old 07-06-04, 14:37   #94
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moved as per Duffs request
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Old 07-06-04, 14:51   #95
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Cheers Nurse DM
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Old 07-06-04, 15:20   #96
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I have a problem

I was a Hax0r, now i want to go legit, however alot of people say once a hax0r allways a hax0r.

I have formatted my HDD but people know that i have haxed in past cause my name has been on Formz.

What can i do?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormie
General piece of advice ... stay away from that server in future. It's obviously a "chav server" .... probably hosted by Argos and sponsered by White Lightning.
http://www.classifiedgaming.co.uk/

Need Your Support For Q, pls perform and idle

#classified.cs on Quakenet
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Old 07-06-04, 15:48   #97
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Re: Dr Duffs Top Tips

Quote:
Originally posted by Dr Duffs[UK2]*

Im here to help all you CS noobs out with my top tips.
simply post your CS or other subject matter here and I will see if I can help you out.

maybe thats why u posted it in the CS forum Dr Duffs, you gotta work on your memory
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Old 07-06-04, 15:50   #98
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Quote:
Originally posted by s!lv3rb0dyb0rd3r
I have a problem

I was a Hax0r, now i want to go legit, however alot of people say once a hax0r allways a hax0r.

I have formatted my HDD but people know that i have haxed in past cause my name has been on Formz.

What can i do?

I have seen U play legit.
U SUK ! .... REAL BAD ! .... INFACT WORSE THAN ME ! .... AND THATS BAD !!!
Put your hax back on. Put em all on. Download as many hax as humanly possible and hope i dont catch ya.

.... NEXT !!!

__________________________________________________ _____

DISCLAIMER:
Dr Duffs in no way condones the use of hax to play any game... unless your playin a single player game and are really really stuck on a bit. So stuck that you have been at the same place for 2 days trying to get past a gang of big f**kers with huge guns and you only have a poxy knife. Then and ONLY then can U cheat to move on to next level.
But cheating online is bad.... DONT DO IT KIDS !
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Old 07-06-04, 15:51   #99
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Re: Re: Dr Duffs Top Tips

Quote:
Originally posted by GOD called in s!ck[UK2]**
maybe thats why u posted it in the CS forum Dr Duffs, you gotta work on your memory
Thats just my age ...
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Old 09-06-04, 08:57   #100
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Hello Dr Duffs

Me again

Now i have a very serious problem, I cant stop stalking pints of stella. I just love it so much that i cant get enough of them. Some people call me a alkie, I say there is a difference between needing it and loving it, and i only love it.

Please Dr help
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormie
General piece of advice ... stay away from that server in future. It's obviously a "chav server" .... probably hosted by Argos and sponsered by White Lightning.
http://www.classifiedgaming.co.uk/

Need Your Support For Q, pls perform and idle

#classified.cs on Quakenet
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Old 10-06-04, 07:40   #101
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Quote:
Originally posted by s!lv3rb0dyb0rd3r
Hello Dr Duffs

Me again

Now i have a very serious problem, I cant stop stalking pints of stella. I just love it so much that i cant get enough of them. Some people call me a alkie, I say there is a difference between needing it and loving it, and i only love it.

Please Dr help
It appears to me mr bodyboarder that you have way to many issues.
You have convinced yourself that you have no problem ... yeh right !!!.
I have never spoken to anyone as mixed up as you you freak.
I bet you drink at home dont you ... alone.
Sat there in the dark with your best friend Mr Stella and his girlfriend Mrs Internet.
Sipping your beer and chatting to your imaginary friends online. Telling them that you are young, good looking and rich, when you are the exact opposite.
Thinking that you will find your ideal woman on "www.ilovehairywomen.com"

On the other hand - your life is so desperate that if it is Stella that can bring you happiness - DRINK AWAY


.... NEXT !!!!

(PS I cant believe that this is the 100th post on this thread ... nice 1)
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Old 10-06-04, 08:17   #102
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Everyone's had a question - my turn

Dear Doc Duff

I have 2 questions:

1) I have no understanding of the elite language and it's all confusing, how can I find out what is being said?

2) I've been playing CS since its early days, and can be found in the top 3 on any server. I sometimes play Call of Duty (great game) and on a 32 player server cannot be found in the top 20 they all have 50-100 kills to my 7 or so... Help

(My highest score on COD was in the 20's - I went German sniper on the map with the dead cows and the cannons and farm (unknown name!))
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Old 10-06-04, 22:26   #103
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Quote:
Originally posted by illusion
Everyone's had a question - my turn

Dear Doc Duff

I have 2 questions:

1) I have no understanding of the elite language and it's all confusing, how can I find out what is being said?

2) I've been playing CS since its early days, and can be found in the top 3 on any server. I sometimes play Call of Duty (great game) and on a 32 player server cannot be found in the top 20 they all have 50-100 kills to my 7 or so... Help

(My highest score on COD was in the 20's - I went German sniper on the map with the dead cows and the cannons and farm (unknown name!))
2 Questions .... It aint buy one get one free FFS !!!!
anyways.. this leet speak is just a load of bollox.... but if you really wanna be "down wiv da kidz" here goes...

basic l33t is just replacing vowels with numbers:

A = 4
E = 3
I = 1
O = 0

However l33t is a very flexible 'language' and you can go from this very basic l33t, to ultra 1337 by being creative; a few examples:

O = ()
U = |_|
T = 7
D = |)
W = \/\/
S = $
There is no agreed-upon way to write l33t, so it's up to you whether or not to go with light l33t, medium 1337, hard |_337 or even ultra |_33¯|¯. In this entry, 'l33t' is used except when referring to medium, hard or ultra '1337'.

Other Grammatical Oddities

The -0r clause can be used in place of -ed or -er, for example '1 0wnz0r!' (most commonly seen in ultra 1337 as '1 0\/\/|\|z0r!') rather than '1 0wn3d'. However it can also be used like this, '1 4m l33t h4x0r!' (in ultra 1337, '1 4|\/| |_337 |-|4x0r!') rather than, '1 4m 4 133t h4ck3r!'.

As a general rule, in l33t, rather than use 's' to make something plural, a 'z' is used instead. Also 'f' is normally changed to 'ph'. The short 'u' is often changed to '00', as well.

Punctuation is usually left out with greater consistency as the level of l33t increases. Full stops are left out entirely because, when you are chatting online, where you would normally put a full stop you just hit 'enter' to send the message and keep typing. Exclamation marks are used quite a bit (and usually quite a number at once), mostly because l33t is most commonly used in expressions of pleasure. Commas are generally left out in hard and ultra 1337, and are uncommon in medium 1337.

Vocabulary

Although l33t speak is just a corrupted form of the English language, there are many phrases and words (spellings) that are unique to it.

0w|\| or 0wn3d - One of the most popular l33t words it is very loosely defined as beaten or can simply be an expression of awe, for example, 'I 0wn3d you' means 'I have beaten you in a very humiliating fashion', or '0wn4ge!' which means 'That was (or is) very nifty'.

w00t - Derived from 'hoot', this is defined as 'yay', it can be used, for example, upon victory or, possibly, the release and procurement of a new video card.

13wt - Treasure, good merchandise, possessions, a misspelling of loot. Most commonly referring to pirated software, items in a game or promotional giveaways.

h4x0r - Hacker, can be used for a real hacker or simply a very skillful person. This is the most common occurrence of the -0r clause.

ph33r - Fear, most commonly used in such phrases as, 'Ph33r m3!' or 'Ph33r |\/|y 1337 sk1llz!' It can also be written as, 'ph34r'.

sk1llz - Obviously derived from 'skill', referring to skill in some type of online game, programming or hacking. Many times used in conjunction with 'm4d'. As a general rule, if one has sk1llz, one is to be ph33r3d.

m4d - Mad, mostly used as a descriptive term meaning great, for example, 'h3s g0t m4d sk1llz'.

j00 - You, commonly used in such phrases as, 'j00 d34d f00'.

f00 - Fool, one who isn't very bright or skillful.

j0 - Yo, as in the greeting.

d00d - Dude; an expression of comrade, or just used to address a random person online.

sux0r - Sucks, as in '7h1s sux0r', one of the few common examples of the -0r clause.

l4m3r - Lamer, someone who is lame, someone who uses an unfair tactic or generally makes the things around him or her less fun.

n00b - Short for noobie, misspelling of newbie; someone who is new to something, or just not very good at it.


NOW QUESTION 2

yes call of duty is a class game. Only played it as SP tho so my tip is ... as you are so shit at it ... DON'T FOOOKIN PLAY IT



... NEXT !!!
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Old 11-06-04, 08:06   #104
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Dr Duff thats a long answer... copy & paste?


(0w|\| or 0wn3d - One of the most popular l33t words it is very loosely defined as beaten or can simply be an expression of awe, for example, 'I 0wn3d you' means 'I have beaten you in a very humiliating fashion', or '0wn4ge!' which means 'That was (or is) very nifty'.)

- Always wondered what this ment!


Cheers!


(I won't take your advice on question 2)

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Old 11-06-04, 10:28   #105
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yup - I aint gonna type all that bollox out

... NEXT !!!
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Old 11-06-04, 11:09   #106
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Dr Duffs,

I have reason to believe I am related to a monkey, what should I do?
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Old 11-06-04, 12:28   #107
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Quote:
Originally posted by Monkey Boy
Dr Duffs,

I have reason to believe I am related to a monkey, what should I do?
Answer these simple questions

1: Do you eat a lot of bananas ?
2: At school, did you find it real easy to climb the rope thing in your PE lesson ?
3: Did you ever make a tree house as a child ?
4: Can you pick your nose with your big toe ?
5: if you get into a fight do you bang your fists down on the ground instead of kicking the shit out of someone ?
6: When you are sat behind someone, for example on the bus, do you find yourself picking bits out of the hair of the person infront ?
7: Do you find Hairy Women attractive ?

If you have answered yes to one or more of these questions, you my son could be the missing link.

... NEXT !!!
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Old 11-06-04, 15:50   #108
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you should really set up your own doctors clinic Dr Duffs.....people would come from miles around to seek the wisdom of the brilliant DR DUFFS.
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Old 11-06-04, 19:25   #109
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so are you half monkey, half boy ?
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Old 11-06-04, 19:36   #110
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Well,

I can honestly say I have no similarities to a monkey...

now if you dont mind I am going to finish my tree house, swing from a rope and order a lifetimes worth of bananas.....

So, what about this doctors clinic you could have, people would travel from all over the world seeking your guidance.
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Old 11-06-04, 21:19   #111
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Originally posted by Monkey Boy
you should really set up your own doctors clinic Dr Duffs.....people would come from miles around to seek the wisdom of the brilliant DR DUFFS.
Only people who've been lobotomized
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Old 11-06-04, 22:07   #112
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Quote:
Originally posted by Serenity
Only people who've been lobotomized
They are the best kind TBH
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Old 11-09-04, 10:52   #113
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what can i say? all my questions have been answered.......

except for that naked man at the window......
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Old 11-09-04, 11:02   #114
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by the way - rekindle the dying flame of this thread - it's been unreplied for months! one of the most entertaining i've read, too.
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Old 11-09-04, 21:57   #115
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Old 15-09-04, 12:49   #116
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A classic thread....c'mon someone get this thread going again
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Old 15-09-04, 15:22   #117
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Dear Dr. Duffs

I just don't know what to, my borderline alchololic chav brother is dating this girl whos so Emo* it hurts to even talk to her!!

Who do I warn about who?

*Emo = short for "emotional." Emo is a broad title that covers a lot of different styles of emotionally-charged punk rock. All of them crap.
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Old 15-09-04, 15:44   #118
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tbh Aceclown


Give the emo a razor, give the chav some cider....Should sort things out, They'll both be happy
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Old 15-09-04, 15:46   #119
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As good as your advice sounds there Ian I'm only allowed to take advice from the good doctor himself.
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Old 28-09-04, 10:21   #120
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Jesus, this is worse than the A&E at my local hospital.

I've now been waiting 13 days to speak to a Dr.
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